It feels good being in love but things go upside down when either one in a relationship gaslights the other and soon relationship turns abusive. The only way to stop is to identify the signs of gaslighting in a relationship at an early stage. Keep reading to know what gaslighting is and how to spot it.
Origin Of Gaslighting
via:thenewyorktimes
Have you watched the movie “Gaslight”? This was the first movie when the term was a highlight even though the movie has an old storyline. A husband abuses his wife not physically but psychologically. As a result, the lady starts questioning her sanity. This 1994 movie is a must-watch if you want to understand the term better.
However, gaslighting is not common among couples but also happens in friendship, family, and work-life where one tries to gain an upper hand on others. In other words, gaslighting can be said as a mind game where the player always portrays his/her right image and convinces the victim about being wrong all the time.
Also Read: 5 Ways To Reject Your Best Friend’s Love Proposal
Long-Term Effects
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It seems simply being manipulative for one’s benefit but it can severely ruin a victim’s mental health. Anxiety, depression, lack of trust, psychological trauma, and more are its long-term effects. It can even take the form of physical and sexual abuse.
Often, the victim is heedless about their partner’s behavior and suffers throughout their life thinking their mental health is the real reason. Checking for these gaslighting signs in a relationship can save one from confusion and other effects.
They Deny Their Actions
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Denial is one of the techniques of gaslighting where a person doesn’t take responsibility of certain action or words rather make other question their memory. In addition to this, one may add details to an event to validate their point even though the victim has solid proof of the event.
They Divert One’s Attention
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One of the obvious ways to deal with the argument is sometimes a part of gaslighting tactic that a partner plays upon the other. They try to divert one’s attention towards another topic or focuses on the reliability of the topic during an argument.
They Hold Back During A Conversation
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Did your partner ever act like they do not understand your words? This can be due to miscommunication but if your simplest explanation go misunderstood then they might be gaslighting you.
Your Feelings Are Unimportant For Them
This is called trivializing where one’s feelings and concerns are of less or no importance for others in a relationship. One can even go to the extent where the victim starts feeling themselves as overreacting or oversensitive.
They Make You Apologize
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Not straightforward but in a way that you’ll feel making an apology for every action even though it’s not necessary. It is because they are plotting the scenario whereby only you and you are the ones who made mistakes and hurt them.
These signs of gaslighting are, however, hard to raise the question on someone’s intent as gas lighter might be doing it unintentionally. So, try to understand the entire situation from the third person’s view. It will make the assessment easy.
Once you identify whether your partner is truly gaslighting or not, take a decision based on the worthiness of the relationship. Always remember, “If it steals your mental peace, it’s not worthy” so quit the relationship, and if you can’t then take the help of a therapist for the right support and recovery.